Class 

Book 



Tlie Young Folks' 
Book of Etiquette 

By ^ 

CAROLINE S. GRIFFIN 




1922 

A. FLANAGAN COMPANY 
CHICAGO 



A V 



COPYRIGHT. 1905 
BY 

A, FLANAGAN COMPANY 



PKINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA 



Tke Young Folks' 
Sook of Etiquette 



Politeness at Home 

Our home is where we live. In it 
are those we love most. If there is 
any place where we should be our 
best, most thoughtful, kindly, loving 
selves, it is in our own homes. We 
try to appear well in the presence of 
strangers; far more should we try with 
father, mother, sister and brother. 

Let us think what good manners are. 

We should rise in the morning as 
soon as we are called or the rising bell 
rings. It is showing rudeness to the 
rest of the household for one member 
of the family to turn over and go to 
sleep again after rising time, or to 
require calling more than once. The 
polite child is strictly obedient. 



4 The You7ig Folks* Book of Etiquette 



A gentleman or gentlewoman is 
always clean, and neatly dressed. 
This rule applies equally to the boy 
and girl. Neatness in dress is neces- 
sary to self-respect. If a girl owns 
but one hair ribbon and a single bit of 
lace, she can launder these herself, so 
that she may look neat. Work is per- 
fectly respectable; untidiness is a dis- 
grace. Any boy can own a ten-cent 
box of shoe-bbcking. He can use it, 
too, blacking the heels of his shoes as 
well as the toes. 

' Before leaving your room after you 
are dressed, see that everything is in 
nice order. Spread the bedclothes 
over the foot of the bed. Shake up 
the pillows and' place them on a chair. 
Then throw the' window open wide. 
In winter, be sure that the register is 
closed or the steam turned off, so that 
no heat may be wasted while the room 
is being aired. 

Give a cheery *'Good-morning,*' to 



The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 5 

every one you meet. Never mind 
whether there is sunshine or rain out- 
of-doors; carry sunshine with you 
wherever you go. 

Be pleasant at the breakfast table. 
If you do not care for oatmeal and 
mother insists that it is good for you, 
eat it sensibly, without grumbling. If 
you do not like what is provided, 
either eat it or go without. In any 
case, be good-natured about it. Cross- 
ness at the table is the height of bad 
manners. 

The same cheery good-nature should 
be preserved while you are getting 
ready for school. Do not play out-of- 
doors or sit reading a story until it is 
time to start. Begin your prepara- 
tions soon enough so that you need not 
hurry. Your hat, coat, and mittens 
should be in their proper place, put 
there when you last entered the house. 
Your books also should have a place, 
and be there. If your belongings are 



6 The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 

where you can find them promptly, 
you will have no occasion for nervous- 
ness, flurry, or unpleasant words. Let 
mother see you smiling when you leave 
the house, rather than frowning. 

Very likely you will be asked to stop 
at the grocery store or meat market on 
your way to school, to leave an order. 
Your mother has taken care that you 
have proper clothing to wear, and she 
makes your home comfortable. Is it 
any more than fair — not to speak of the 
etiquette of showing politeness to one*s 
mother — that you should attend to her 
errands pleasantly, and as though you 
really enjoyed helping her in these 
little ways? 

No matter how great your haste, or 
how late you are, never start off in the 
morning without saying good-by. If, 
while you were away from home, 
something should happen to one of the 
family, could you ever forgive yourself 
for having rushed off without a word of 



The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 7 



and after school 
day, always let 



farewell? At noon, 
has closed for the 
mother know- 
when you get" 
home. If you 
go directly to 
your room, or 
remain out-of- 
doors at play, 
she may become 
anxious about 
you, fearing 
that some acci- ^ 
dent has hap-|^ 
pened to 5^ou 
It takes only a \ 
minute to findV 
her and let her 
know you have 

re-turned. You jj^v^r start o^i? in this 
will enjoy your morning without say- 
play all the ing goodbye 

more for having thought of her first. 
You probably are very hungry when 




8 The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 



you arrive home from school at 
noon. Is hunger an excuse for your 
scolding and making yourself un- 
pleasant because lunch does not hap- 
pen to be ready when you come in ? 
Remember that other matters besides 
preparation for your lunch have re- 
quired attention during the morning. 
Perhaps you might help to set the 
table, or serve up the luncheon, in- 
stead of burying yourself in a book, or 
playing. 

If you take music lessons, have a 
regular time for practice, and remem- 
ber the music hour yourself. Have 
you ever heard unpleasant conversa- 
tions like this? — 

Katie, you must come in now and 
practice, or you will not be ready for 
your music lesson to-morrow/' 

**0h, mother, need I go just now? 
We are having such fun, and I'll do my 
practicing to-morrow morning before I 
go to school." • 



The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 9 



'*No, you must come at once. You 
can play later/' 

If you have heard such remarks as 
these, you know how trying they must 
be to the mother. I hope you, yourself, 
are too much of a gentlewoman or gen- 
tleman to scowl, or say you dislike 
pianos, or the practicing which is so 
necessary a part of your education. 

Perhaps you are so very fortunate as 
to have a baby brother or sister. Some- 
times you may be asked to amuse the 
little one, or take him out in his car- 
riage. If you only realized how greatly 
you are blessed in having him, you 
would never, never object to caring for 
the little treasure. What if he should 
be taken from you! And then, suppose 
you had been neglected when you were 
a baby. Your mother cares for you by 
providing you with food, clothing, and 
the many other things you need. Show 
that you appreciate what she does for 
you, by caring for baby when she 



10 The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 



asks this. Do it cheerfully, willingly, 
gladly. 

Disputes or quarrels between broth- 




B13 GOOD TO THE FAMII^Y DOG 

ers and sisters are not only impolite, 
they are very wrong. Never strike or 
hurt anybody, least of all any one 



The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette ii 

whom you love as you do your own 
dear brother. 

Be good to the family dog and cat. 
Only a coward abuses anything that is 
weaker than he, or that is too good- 
natured to bite or scratch in return. 

Always be polite to callers or guests 
in your own house. If some one with 
whom you are acquainted is calling on 
your mother, or has come to your home 
for a visit, even if the person is older 
than you, it is polite for you to step up 
and speak, shaking hands cordially. 
If the person is engaged in conversa- 
tion with some one else, it is not neces- 
sary to interrupt. Wait until there is 
a pause, then speak. 

A child should not remain seated 
when an elderly person enters the 
room. If there are so many chairs 
that it is unnecessary to offer the one 
in which you have been sitting, stand 
by your chair until the older person is 
seated. This little act of courtesy is 



12 The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 

too often neglected. It should be per- 
formed quietly, without display or 
show. If the person has occasion to 
enter and leave the room several times, 
you need not keep jumping up, but be 
sure to leave vacant a comfortable 
chair. 

Pass behind, not in front of people. 
This does not mean that you need 
make yourself conspicuous. A five- 
year-old boy had been told by his 
mother that a little gentleman would 
pass behind, not in front of people. 
When he wished to leave the room the 
next time there were visitors, he 
crawled under the stove-pipe, because 
he could see no other way out of the 
difficulty. That was, of course, un- 
necessary. If there is no easy way of 
passing behind the people who are 
seated, say very quietly to the person 
before whom you must walk: Please 
excuse me if I pass in front of you/' 

Remember that when playmates 



The Young Folks^ Book of Etiquette 13 



come to see you, the courtesies due to 
guests from host or hostess should be 




I,AY YOUR CLOTHES NEATLY ON a CHAIR — NOT 
AS THIS LITTLE GIRL DOES 



14 The Young Folks' Book of Etiqtiette 

shown them by you. Play the games 
they choose, no matter if you would 
prefer others, and be generous with 
your playthings. If you have any 
which you dislike to have your friends 
use, keep them out of sight. 

Never tease a visitor to remain longer 
than the time set by his parents. If 
an exact hour for going home was 
named, be sure that he knows when 
the time has come. 

When bed-time comes, say good- 
night to father and mother, and go 
quietly to your room. Undress at 
once, lay your clothes neatly on a 
chair, say your prayers, open the win- 
dow, and jump into bed. If you have 
tried to be polite and kind throughout 
the day, you will be ready to sleep well, 
and you will awake the next morning 
refreshed and happy. 



At School 

Let us see in what good manners at 
school consist, that we may make 
them the rule of our life there. 

Every morning, upon entering the 
schoolroom, each pupil should greet 
the teacher with a smile, and as he 
walks by her desk say: **Good-morn- 

ing, Miss At the close of 

school in the afternoon there should be 
a cheery good-by. 

No opportunity for helping the 
teacher should be missed. A little 
task, such as cleaning the blackboards, 
picking up papers, putting the teach- 
er's desk in order, or running upon an 
errand, should be welcomed. It should 
be performed as quickly, quietly and 
well as possible. 

A plain or **no,'' to a teacher 

or anybody older than oneself is dis- 
courteous. The answer should always 

15 



1 6 The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 

be, **Yes, I thank you/* or **No, Miss 

or **Yes, I will try/' or '^No, I 

think not/' 

To whisper in school hours, or other- 
wise to disturb the quiet of the room, 
is very impolite. No gentlemanly boy 
or ladylike girl will be so disrespectful 
to the teacher or so thoughtless of fel- 
low pupils as to interrupt or disturb in 
anyway. Whatever hinders the good 
work of those about one is unkind, and 
unbecoming the right sort of boy or 
girl. 

It is rude to snap the fingers when 
raising the hand. You will understand 
why if you think a little. The atten- 
tion of the teacher is a special favor to 
you and must be sought quietly. 

No thoughtful boy or girl will speak 
unkindly of any one, especially in the 
presence of that person. 

Telling secrets in the presence of 
others, or whispering, is extremely ill- 
bred. Never laugh at or allude to any- 



The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 17 



thing which all present do not understand^ 
unless you wish to explain matters. 

Never step between two persons who 
are talking together, if this can be 
avoided; if it cannot, ask pardon for 
the necessary breach of etiquette. 




IT IS HIS PI^ACK TO OPEN THE DOOR FOR HER 

A courteous boy will never pass from 
the room in front of a girl; nor will he 
allow her to open the door when he 
expects to pass through it also. It is 
his place to open the door for her and 
allow her to precede him. 



1 8 The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 



Do not borrow anything if you can 
possibly avoid it. If you must borrow 
a book, paper or pencil, remember that 
you are making use of another person's 
property. Be careful not to injure the 
borrowed article, and return it at the 
earliest possible moment. Never for- 
get to return anything you have bor- 
rowed. Remember that to keep what 
does not belojig to you is disltonest. 

When you have candy, share it with 
those about you. If you have an apple 
to eat at recess, give at least one bite 
to the girl or boy standing beside you. 
Be sure that you eat the apple during 
recess, and not in school hours. 

Do not ask questions about what does 
not concerii you. Never ask any per- 
sonal question unless you are sure the 
person addressed will be perfectly will- 
ing to answer it. Do not ask what was 
paid for anything, especially an article 
of dress. 

What about the school-yard? School 



The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 19 

begins at nine o'clock in the morning. 
You are not expected to be there until 
that time. You are not wanted in or 
about the school building an hour 
beforehand. If the teachers are there, 
they are busy, and have no time to look 
after you. Never get to school before 
half-past eight; really thoughtful pu- 
pils will stay away until a quarter 
before nine. 

When school is over, go directly 
home. Do not linger in the school- 
yard to play. 

The schoolroom is no place for 
rough or noisy manners of any kind. 
The bell rings for recess or the close 
of school, and out you go. You may 
go quickly, but this does not mean that 
you should rush out boisterously, push- 
ing those about you, and shouting. 
You could not imagine your fathers 
and mothers leaving church that way. 
They are gentlemen and gentlewomen 
such as you wish to become. 



20 The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 

Play your games and have as delight- 
ful a time as you can, but play fair. 
If you choose who is to be "it" by 
counting, count fairly. If you find 
that you are */it/* do not be angry and 
say you will not play. Help to make 
the game as enjoyable for everybody as 
possible. B}'' the by, who was captain 
and counted out yesterday, and the day 
before? Were you? If so, do you not 
think some one else ought to have a 
turn at being captain ? 

If you are **it'* for a game like 
"Hide and Seek,*' count honestly. 
Are you to count to a hundred by ones? 
Then do not count by fives, shouting 
"One hundred!'' before those who are 
hiding are read)^ 

When you are supposed to be blind- 
folded, or to have your eyes closed, in 
a game such as "Blind Man's Buff," 
keep your eyes shut. Peeping shows 
poor manners; besides, it is not 
honest. 



The Young Folks'" Book of Etiquette 21 

Do not become angry with a fellow 
pupil and refuse to speak to him. If 
you have done anything unkind, or 
have said what may have hurt the 
feelings of a playmate, say you are 
sorry, and ask to be forgiven. Tell 
your friend that you will try not to 
be so thoughtless again. Then really 
try. 

If some one is unkind to you, pay no 
attention to the offense. Treat your 
playmate as though nothing had hap- 
pened. The unkindness may have 
been intended simply to tease you. In 
that case the offender will find that it 
was not worth while. If he really 
meant to hurt you, do not give him the 
pleasure of seeing that you care. 

Never tell or listen to stories that for 
any reason whatever you would be un- 
willing to repeat to your mother. 

Only a very silly little girl will talk 
about having a **beau.'* A boy who is 
so foolish as to talk about his **girr^ is 



22 The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 

always unpopular with the other boys. 
He deserves to be snubbed. 

Is slang the kind of language you 
would wish to hear your mother use? 
Is it the kind of language she wishes 
you to use? Never, never be guilty of 
using a bad word of any kind. 

Unless you are willing to be teased, 
you had best not tease others. If you 
find there is something about which 
a playmate is sensitive, as a turned-up 
nose or red hair, keep still about it. 
Unless you like to have your hair 
pulled, do not pull another person's 
hair. 

If a game is going on in the school- 
yard and you appear after it has begun, 
wait until there comes a time when you 
can take part without interfering with 
others' rights. Do not break into the 
game, or ask the players to start again 
for you. 

If you happen to be better dressed 
than some of the other pupils, do not 



The You72g Folks' Book of Etiquette 23 

act like a silly peacock, switching or 
strutting about. If some child must 
wear poor clothing, see to it that he 
has a particularl}^ happy time to make 
up for it. It takes more than fine 
clothing to make a gentleman or a 
gentlewoman, and dress is of no im- 
portance in the schoolroom or school- 
yard. It is what we say and do that 
counts. 

Do not boast that you can whip any 
boy in school. You probably cannot. 
If you could, you would not be likely 
to boast about it. You would have no 
right to do it, in any case. If a boy 
needs punishment, the teacher is the 
person to administer it, not you. 

Always be your simple, modest self. 
It is very silly to "put on airs,'* for 
there are many people who are quite 
as attractive and clever as you are. 

Very few children in the world have 
a cent of money except what is given 
them by others. The child who boasts 



24 The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 

of what his father owns is making him- 
self ridiculous. 

Here are two good rules of school- 
room etiquette: **Always speak the 
truth''; *Think of others instead of 
yourself." 



Street Deportment 



In the United States people on side- 
walks, as well as teams in the street, 
pass to the right of one another. In 
Canada and England they pass to the 
left. In this country, then, we should 
keep to the right side of the walk, so 
that if other people are coming toward 
us there may be no danger of our run- 
ning into them. 

If anyone passing along the street 
bows to a little girl, she should bow 
politely in return, inclining her head 
only. The body should not be bent 
for a street bow. If she is well ac- 
quainted with the person who bows to 
her, she should show by a smile that 
she is glad to see the friend. If she 
passes close to the person, she should 
say as she bows: **Good-morning,'* or 
**Good-afternoon.'' 

25 



26 The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 



A boy should raise his hat in re- 
sponse to a greeting from an acquaint- 
ance. He should neither be so rude as 
to bow without lifting his hat, or so 
thoughtless as merely to touch the 
rim. He has no right to greet a girl 
until she bows to him, unless he is so 
well acquainted with her that he feels 
sure she intends to speak. 

It is not necessary to recognize an 
acquaintance across a crowded street. 
In a city it would be out of place to 
attempt to attract the attention of any 
one on the opposite sidewalk. 

When any one bows to a person with 
whom a boy is walking, the boy should 
raise his hat, even if he is not ac- 
quainted with the person who is 
bowing. 

A child should bow first to an older 
person, because older people cannot 
be expected to remember every child 
they meet. If, however, some Oi^e 
with whom you are acquainted fails 



The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 27 



utterly to notice you, pass by without 
speaking. Many grown people are 
near-sighted, and do not recognize 
faces at a little distance from them. 
Some persons are absent-minded and 




A BOY SHOUI.D RAISE HIS HAT IN GREETING 



when they are lost in thought often fail 
to see even their most intimate friends. 
You may be sure that you are never 
intentionally slighted by any one worth 
knowing. No one with the least pre- 



28 The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 

tensions to good breeding ever pur- 
posely fails to recognize an acquaint- 
ance. 

When one little girl meets another 
whom she knows, she should greet her 
pleasantly, but without kissing her. 
It is not well-bred to kiss any one on 
the street, even a baby. The habit of 
kissing people generally is out of place 
anywhere. One should kiss only one's 
very intimate friends, and then only in 
the house. 

Speak quietly when walking along 
the street. You never hear a gentle- 
man or gentlewoman singing, laughing, 
or talking boisterously in any public 
place. Do not try to attract the atten- 
tion of a friend two or three blocks 
away by calling or whistling. Never 
call a person by name loudly enough 
so that any stranger may hear. If you 
can catch up with your friend without 
interfering with the rights of others, 
and, ^without making yourself con- 



The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 29 

spicuous, do so. Otherwise, wait for a 
more favorable time for speaking with 
him. 

Do not expect a person to stop at a 
street corner while you talk or ask 
questions. If you have something you 
wish to tell an acquaintance whom you 
happen to meet, turn and walk in his 
direction. He may be in a hurry to 
meet some engagement. Besides, if 
you stop on the sidewalk to talk, you 
are sure to be in the way of passers-by. 

The street is intended as a passage- 
way from one place to another. Walk 
straight along at a rate that will not 
inconvenience other people who have 
as much right there as you. This 
means that you shall neither run, nor 
bump into people, nor linger so that 
you are in others* way. 

It is well to learn in childhood to 
walk properly. The arms should hang 
loosely at the sides. People should 
not walk arm-in-arm in the daytime. 



30 The Yoii7ig Folks' Book of Etiquette 



This applies to children as well as to 
grown people. A person should not 
zigzag from one side of the walk to the 
other. The toes should be turned out 
a little, and the feet should move as 
though the inside of the heels were 
moving on a straight line. 

When a boy is walking with a woman 
or a girl he should keep on the outside 
of the walk, next the street. It is his 
duty, when the two have crossed from 
one sidewalk to another, to see that 
this little courtesy is observed. It 
implies that he is ready to protect the 
one he is with from any possible dan- 
ger. If, however, only a short distance 
is to be walked before another change 
is necessary, it is less awkward for the 
boy to remain on the inside for a 
while than to keep bobbing back and 
forth. Never walk between two ladies. 

A boy should keep step with a man 
or another boy with v/hom he is walk- 
ing. And two girls who are walking 



The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 31 



together should be careful to keep 
step. It is the opinion of some people 
that a man or boy should always keep 
in step with his companion, but unless 
he naturally takes very short steps he 
is apt to look silly when keeping step 
with a girl, and a w^oman or girl trying 
to adapt her step to that of a boy or 
man is a very awkward sight. 

If a boy has occasion to offer a lady 
his arm, it should be the right arm. 
Although it is not good form for two 
persons to walk along a street arm-in- 
arm under ordinary circumstances, old 
or feeble people may quite properly 
lean on the arm of their escorts. 

Dress quietly and simply for the 
street. Gay colors are suitable only 
for the house, or for evening wear. A 
gentleman or gentlewoman wishes to be 
noticed by strangers as little as possible. 

Carry your umbrella, when it is 
closed, so that there may be no danger 
of its hitting anybody. Unless you 



32 The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 

have waterproof shoes, wear rubbers in 
damp weather. Only slovenly people 
are seen in wet, shapeless shoes. 

It is no disgrace to carry a neat 
parcel on the street. A gentleman 
will be known by his manners, not by 
what he carries. Often the parcel 



AN UMBRKI.I.A those about you 
are bad, see that your own are bet- 
ter. If you do not want unkind 
remarks made about you, be equally 




means that he is 
doing something 
to make somebody 
happy. 



CORRECT AND INCORRECT 
WAY OF CARRYING 



Do not make re- 
marks about any 
one you see. If a 
person walks pecu- 
liarly, what of it? 
Perhaps you have 
some habit that is 
quite as ungainly. 
If the manners of 



The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 33 

thoughtful of others. Be careful 
never to show, even by a glance, 
that you notice the misfortune of a 
deformed person, or one who has any 
peculiarity. 

It is rude to stare at people, and 
especially to turn the head and gaze 
after a person who has passed by. 

Little girls, and larger ones as well, 
should take care not to attract the 
notice of men with whom they are not 
acquainted. It is not wise for girls to 
talk with strangers, either men or 
women. If you have occasion to ask 
for information, consult a policeman if 
there is one in sight; otherwise, speak 
to some one in a store, or, if necessary, 
some woman who may be passing. 

If you are asked a question by a per- 
son with whom you are not acquainted, 
answer politely and at once pass on. 
Pay no attention to beggars. If char- 
ity is needed, older people are the ones 
to attend to the matter. 



34 The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 

If you play street games, take care 
that you do not hinder passers-by. If, 
when walking along the street, or when 
at play, you accidentally brush against 
some one, say: *Tlease excuse me/' 
Then be careful not to be so rude a 
second time. If, on the other hand, 
any one brushes against you and begs 
your pardon, grant it at least by a 
bow. 

When two or three children are walk- 
ing side by side, one of them should 
step behind, or off the walk, to allow 
any person to pass. Be careful, how- 
ever, not to force any one to pass be- 
tween you and your friends. 

Boys may run and play on the 
streets, but they should do so without 
making so much noise as to disturb 
people. Do not "hitch'' upon wagons 
or sleighs. It is unsafe as well as rude. 
If the driver of a wagon wishes you to 
ride, he will let you get inside. 

Do not linger around the railway sta- 



The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 35 

tion or stores. Do not gather in 
groups on busy thoroughfares. You 
do not care to be classed with the 
rowdies or the ill-bred. 



Manners in Public Places 
The Street Car 

If you wish to board a car, stand at 
the crossing on the side of the street 
along which the car passes. Where 
there are two tracks, you can usually 
tell which car to take in this way: 
Stand on the right side of the street 
facing the direction in which you wish 
to go. The car on the track nearest 
you is the one you want. 

In hailing a car, raise your hand very 
slightly, to let the motorman know 
that you wish to get aboard. It is not 
necessary to wave either your arms or 
an umbrella. The man is watching to 
see if any one is at the corner, and he 
will understand your signal. 

Wait until the car has stopped before 

36 



The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 37 



mounting the step. Then, with your 
face turned toward the front of the car, 
grasp the handle-bar and step aboard. 

Just before you reach the corner of 
your street, tell the conductor that you 
wish to get off. Do not wait until the 
car is at a standstill before you rise 
from your seat. Be ready to step off 
promptly when the car stops. You do 
not care to keep a earful of passengers 
waiting for you longer than is abso- 
lutely necessary. 

My boy, if you offer a woman your 
seat and she forgets to thank you, do 
not let any one see that you notice the 
lack of courtesy. Never keep your 
seats, boys, and allow any woman or 
gray-haired man to stand. Treat other 
people's mothers and sisters with the 
courtesy and respect you wish shown 
to your own, and remember how much 
better able you are to stand than an 
old man. 

If any one offers you a seat, my girl, 



38 The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 

never omit the pleasant "Thank you/' 
If, however, you are obliged to stand, 
do not show the slightest displeasure. 
You entered the car when the seats 
were occupied. It is, then, your own 
fault if you must stand. There are 
women actually considering them- 
selves ladies who will enter a crowded 
car, and then, if no one rises to give 
them a seat, look at the men as though 
the latter were doing something very 
much out of place. What do you 
think of such rudeness ? 

If you are standing, and you are not 
tall enough to reach a strap, try to take 
hold of a door handle, or rest your 
hand against the front or rear of the 
car. Take care, however, that you do 
not interfere with the entrance or de- 
parture of other passengers. Never 
lean against any one who is seated; 
never, never, against a person who is 
standing. It is difficult enough at best 
to keep one's balance in a swaying 



The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 39 

car. This is almost impossible if one 
must steady some other person. 

Do not sit in a street-car and stare at 
those about you. Perhaps you know 
from experience how uncomfortable it 
makes a person to be watched. 

Do not make remarks upon the ap- 
pearance, dress, or manners of those 
about you in the car. Do not, in 
talking with your friends in the street- 
car or any other public place, mention 
other people by name. You do not 
know who may be listening to your 
conversation. 

Do not ask to have the door kept 
open when the other passengers prefer 
to have it shut. If the day is warm, so 
that others want the door open, do not 
ask to have it closed. 

Pay your fare promptly when the 
conductor asks for it. Remember that 
he is a busy man; do not try to enter 
into conversation with him. If you 
are not familiar with the streets, how- 



40 The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 

ever, it is quite proper to ask him to 
put you off at the right place. 

The Railroad Station 

Never enter a railroad station except 
on business. If you are planning to 
take a train, or wish to send a tele- 
gram, or have some other errand, you 
have a right to be there. Otherwise 
you have no more right to spend time 
in the station than you would have to 
linger about in the house of a stranger, 
where you had not been invited. Only 
rowdies and rough or ignorant girls 
loiter about a public place of this sort. 

When you wish to take a train, go 
into the station, buy your ticket, then 
sit down quietly and wait. If you have 
luggage to be checked, get your check 
and trust the man having the luggage 
in charge to see that it is put upon the 
right train. 

Speak softly. It shows a woeful lack 
of manners to make oneself conspicu- 



The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 41 

ous in a public place by talking loud- 
ly, laughing boisterously, or walking 
about. 

Do not eat peanuts or fruit and drop 
the shells or peelings upon the floor. 
You have no right to make the place 
unpleasant for others who are more 
tidy than you. 

The Train 

When you board a train, find an un- 
occupied seat if you can. If there is a 
person in every seat, a girl should take 
her place beside a woman, a boy beside 
a man. Step up to the seat and say: 
**Is this seat taken?*' The person sit- 
ting there will tell you whether you 
may sit down or not. 

Do not talk with strangers when you 
are traveling. Remember always to 
talk with a friend below the noise of 
the train, instead of above it. If you 
speak in low, quiet tones, all that you 
say will be heard by the person for 



42 The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 

whom it is intended. If you talk in a 
high-pitched, loud voice, your compan- 
ion may or may not hear you, but the 
people in the seat ahead will hear 
every word. 

Eat no fruit with a strong scent, 
such as an orange, on the train. If any 
one near you is liable to car sickness, 
the odor of a piece of strongly scented 
fruit may be sufficient to cause great 
discomfort. 

Have your ticket ready when the 
conductor comes through the car. 

Keep your seat. It is annoying to 
passengers to have boys or girls run- 
ning back and forth through the aisles. 

Do not get off the train every time 
it stops. Trainmen have no time to 
spend in looking out for children 
whose place is on the train. 

Church Manners 

Never be late to church if you can 
possibly help it. If this misfortune 



The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 43 

can in no way be avoided, walk up the 
aisle quietly, so as to be noticed by as 
few people as possible. If your shoes 
squeak, you had better stay at home 
rather than disturb the whole congre- 
gation by entering late. Then start in 
season the next time. 

Church is a place for worship, not 
for whispering, reading, or playing 
with hymn books. Follow the service, 
whether it is that to which you are ac- 
customed or not. If others kneel dur- 
ing the prayers, kneel also. If others 
simply bow the head, do likewise. 

The pews face the front because 
people are expected to keep their eyes 
in that direction. Suppose the preacher 
were compelled to look down upon a 
congregation all the members of which 
were whispering, turning their heads 
about, or staring at one another! If 
one person has a right to indulge in 
such rudeness, what about the others? 
Has anybody such a right? 



44 The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 

You have probably known people in 
church to make themselves absurdly 
conspicuous by singing or reading the 
responses so loudly as to attract the 
attention of all the people about. Do 
you wish to make yourself a laughing- 
stock in this way? 

Shopping 

Probably in no public place does a 
person show fine or ungenteel manners 
more plainly than when making pur- 
chases at a shop. Here are a few ques- 
tions about shopping for you to con- 
sider : 

How long ought you to remain at 
any one counter? 

Is there any reason for making saucy 
remarks to the clerk who waits upon 
you? Have you a right to take his 
time by entering into conversation 
with him? 

Who knows better what should be 
charged for articles on sale, the store- 



The You7ig Folks' Book of Etiquette 45 

keeper or you? What do you think 
about trying to purchase an article for 
less than is asked for it? Have you a 




DO NOT KAT PEANUTS IN THE CARS AND 
DROP THE SHEI.I.S ON THE FLOOR 



right to handle articles which you do 
not intend to buy? 



46 The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 

A year or two ago, during Christmas 
week, a well-dressed woman entered a 
large New York department store and 
asked for a spool of sewing-silk. She 
ordered it charged to her husband's 
account and sent to her address. The 
saleswoman saw that she had with her 
a shopping bag; so she said: 

**Would you mind taking the silk 
yourself? The teams are worked so 
hard that it is almost impossible to de- 
liver anything within three days of the 
time it is ordered." 

The woman drew herself up haughtily 
and replied: **You will charge and 
send the spool of silk as I ordered.'* 
Then she swept from the counter with 
head high in air. What do you think 
of the woman's lack of consideration? 

Sometimes a child standing in a 
grocery store or market helps himself 
to a strawberry or a piece of candy 
Do you think this is right? Why does 
the boy or girl take pains to pick up 



The Yoimg Folks' Book of Etiquette 4f 

the article when the clerk happens to 
be looking in the other direction? 

The Btisiness Office 

No young girl should call upon a 
man in his office, unless she has an im- 
portant business errand. Nor should a 
boy do so. No one should make a 
friendly call upon a man or woman in 
business hours. Business people have 
no time for anything except the affairs 
of the office in office hours. 

If you are compelled to consult a 
man on some business matter, walk 
into his office without knocking. State 
your errand in the fewest possible 
words. Wait quietly for an answer, or 
for your business to be attended to, 
then leave as quietly as you entered. 

The old adage, '^Children should be 
seen, but not heard,*' applies particu- 
larly to all public places. 



Table Etiquette 

It is not unusual to hear the remark 
made: You cannot tell what kind of 
person a man is until you have sat 
at dinner with him." What is meant 
is that perfect table manners are a test 
of a gentleman. This is not quite true, 
for it is the kindly heart that makes 
the true gentleman. Sometimes under 
the roughest manners we can see 
gentlemanly unselfishness and thought- 
fulness for the comfort of others. 

Yet fine table manners are very im- 
portant. A gentleman was once heard 
to say: **It is of no use for me to try to 
have good table manners. I cannot. 
When I was a child I was allowed to 
shovel my food into my mouth, spill 
things on the tablecloth, eat with my 
knife, and twist in my chair. Now 
that I am a man I cannot overcome the 

48 



The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 49 

boyhood habits, unless I give my entire 
attention to watching how I eat.'* 

You could not imagine the Queen of 
Hearts sitting in the parlor eating 
bread and honey — and dropping crumbs 
on the floor. Why not? Because we 
are sure the Queen of Hearts was a 
lady. A lady must be dainty in eat- 
ing, as she is about everything else that 
she does. 

Go to the table in a fresh toilet and 
with a pleasant face. Remain standing 
by your chair until all the older mem- 
bers of the family have entered the 
room, so that all may be seated at the 
same time. 

Wait patiently until you are served. 
You have, perhaps, heard such remarks 
as these, made by several children at 
the same time: **Will you please pass 
the butter?'' ^'Mother, may I have 
the bread?" **rd like some gravy, 
please." Often parents are so an- 
noyed by the constant requests for 



50 The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 



bread, butter, salt, pepper and what 
not, that the meal is spoiled for them. 

Begin by unfolding your napkin and 
placing it in your lap. Sometimes 
fasteners are provided for children. 
These hold one side of the napkin up 
to the neck, to prevent the clothing 
from being soiled. 

If the first course consists of soup, 
put the side of the spoon to the mouth, 
instead of the end. Take the liquid 
into the mouth quietly, without a 
sucking noise. If bread or a cracker is 
to be eaten with the soup, do not crum.b 
it up in the liquid. Bite it off, a 
mouthful at a time. 

The elbows do not belong on the 
table. Your knife, fork and spoon are 
intended for you to eat with; they are 
not playthings. The chair was made 
to stand on four legs, not on one, or on 
two. Bread is cut in slices so that it 
may be bitten off. It is not to be cut 
into small squares, diamonds, triangles. 



The Young Folks'" Book of Etiquette 51 

or other fancy figures to be played with 
at the table 

Do not touch the face or the hair 
with the fingers when at the table. If 
you are obliged to use your handker- 
chief, make as little noise as possible. 
Do not kick the table leg or the feet of 
the person next or opposite you. 

You will find your fork at the left 
side of your plate, the knife at the 
right. The knife was intended for cut- 
ting meat and for spreading bread, un- 
less a special butter-knife is provided; 
it should 7iever be put into the mouth. 
Food is to be carried to the mouth on 
the end of a fork or in a spoon. Bread, 
cake or crackers should be taken in the 
fingers. 

Bread should be held on the plate 
with the fingers of the left hand while 
it is being spread with the right. As 
biting from a large slice makes one ap- 
pear rather greedy, it is better to break 
off pieces about two inches wide from 



52 The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 

the slice. Bite from the small pieces, 
finishing one before beginning another. 

If you are asked what kind you pre- 
fer of a choice of foods — light or dark 
chicken meat, for example — always 
make a selection, instead of saying you 
are not particular which you have. If 
there should be more of one kind than 
another, you may ask for that which is 
more plentiful. 

Whether it is or is not polite to ask 
to be served a second time with any 
article of food depends upon circum- 
stances. If the food is served in the 
kitchen and placed upon the dining- 
table on the individual plates, it will 
not do to ask for more. Suppose there 
should be no more! When the serving 
is done at the table, and there is plenty 
of a certain kind of food left on the 
platter or in the large dishes, there is 
no harm in asking for a second helping. 

Take but one piece of bread, cake or 
other article of food at a time. 



The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 53 

Meat, potato, or anything greasy or 
sticky, should be carried from the 
plate to the mouth on a fork. Fruit 
should, however, be eaten with the 
fingers, as neatly as possible, except 
small fruits, such as strawberries or 
raspberries, which are made sticky by 
the use of sugar. Grapes should be 
carried to the mouth one at a time, 
the skin being afterward placed on the 
plate with the fingers. It is very bad 
form to spit anything upon the plate, 
even so small an article as an olive 
stone. The stone should be removed 
'from the mouth with the fingers. 

There is a certain private school 
where every pupil has a soda cracker 
for lunch each day. The teacher gives 
the pupils the crackers because the 
children are hungry, but at the same 
time as a means of teaching them the 
etiquette of eating. The crackers are 
passed to the children, and as each 
receives his, he holds it in his hand 



54 The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 



until all have been served. Then alf 
break their biscuit open, taking espe- 
cial care not to scatter crumbs. Bites 
are taken from one piece until it is 
gone, then the other is eaten. It is 
considered a disgrace to drop a crumb 
upon the floor. If you could see that 
schoolroom after lunch-time you v^ould 
know that even so crumbly an article 
of food as a cracker may be eaten with- 
out any disorder. 

Chew with the mouth shut. To make 
a noise when chewing is thoughtless of 
others' comfort. 

Be careful not to drop food upon the 
tablecloth. Accidents will occasion- 
ally happen at the table, as elsewhere, 
but constant dropping of gravy, jelly, 
milk or other liquids upon the white 
cloth is not only very careless, but 
annoying to the housekeeper. 

Do not look over the glass when you 
are drinking water. 

Try to eat all the food on your plate 



The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 55 

if you can. By planning aright you 
usually need have nothing left. Do 
not, however, try to leave the plate 
perfectly clean. The dishes will be 
washed later. If there is any dish for 
which you do not care, refuse it politely 
and say no more about the matter. 

Make no remarks about the food. If 
it is good, you will show by eating it 
that you enjoy it. If you do not like 
it, the less said the better. 

Children should listen to the conver- 
sation at the table, but they should not 
take the lead in it. Speak when you 
are spoken to. If you are very sure 
you have something to say in which the 
older people will be interested, you 
may say it when there is a pause. 
Never interrupt any one who is speak- 
ing, either at the table or elsewhere. 

Nothing unpleasant should be men- 
tioned at the table. One's aches and 
pains need not be discussed during 
meal-time. Never talk about any dis- 



$6 The Young Folks'' Book of Etiquette 

tressing accident, or anything else that 
might lessen the pleasure of those at 
the table, in what the Germans call 
gesegnete Mahlzeit (blessed meal-time). 
If the nearness of the school hour, or 




TmS IS NOT DIGNIFIED — ELBOWS DO NOT 
BEI^ONG ON THE TABI.E 



some other imperative duty, renders it 
absolutely necessary for you to leave 
the table before all have finished, turn 
to your mother or the lady of the house 
and say: '*May I be excused?*' - Do 



The Young Folks* Book of Etiquette 57 

not, however, leave the table with 
anything in your mouth, or until your 
knife and fork have been placed side 
by side on your plate. The napkin, 
save at a hotel or restaurant, should be 
folded neatly. It should be slipped 
into the napkin ring, if there is one at 
your place. 



Letters and Notes 

At first thought the writing of a 
letter may seem a matter of small con- 
sequence. On the contrary, the writing 
of letters appropriate to occasions that 
may arise is a fine art. Many a boy 
has failed to obtain a position for 
which he applied, because the letter he 
sent was written in a poor hand or con- 
tained misspelled words. The boys 
who were given those very positions 
received them because of the plain, 
business-like letters they wrote. 

As people grow older and become 
better educated, they can naturally 
write wiser and more interesting letters 
than they could when they were chil- 
dren. But there is no excuse for an 
untidy, an improperly arranged, or a 
poorly spelled letter from any ten- 
year-old boy or girl. 

Let us begin at the beginning and go 

58 



The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 59 

to the shop for our envelope and 
paper. We select a plain white, 
cream, or pale blue note paper, with 
envelope to match. A girl may choose 
any of these three colors. A boy 
should use only white paper. 

We write our letters with black ink. 
Red ink is useful for bookkeeping. It 
is, however, trying to the eyes, and one 
finds a letter written with it difficult to 
read. Black or very dark blue ink is 
the proper sort for letter-writing. 

Before writing a letter we must have 
the address of the person to whom it is 
to be sent. This is to be written on 
the envelope. If you are writing to a 
girl friend, you will address the en- 
velope like this: 

Miss Jessie Smith, 

128 State Street^ 
Chicago^ 

Illinois, 

You will notice that each line of the 
address is a little farther to the right 



6o The Yoimg Folks' Book of Etiquette 
* » 
than the one above it. Do you notice 
the commas after Smith. Street and Chi- 
cago? The last word of the address is 
always followed by a period. There is 
also a period after Street when the word 
IS written in the abbreviated form, St. 

If you are writing to a man, as your 
father or uncle, the address is the same, 
except that the first line reads, Mr, 
James Smithy followed by a comma. 

Perhaps you wish to write to a busi- 
ness house, as, for example, Arnold, 
Constable & Co. You will write the 
address: 

Messrs. Arnold, Constable &^ Co., 
88 I Broadway, 

New York City. 

The stamp should be placed in the 
upper right-hand corner. It should be 
pasted right side up, not upside down, 
or sideways. Try to put it on quite 
straight, as care in little matters like 
this may mean much to those who 
receive your letters. 



The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 6i 

About an inch below the top of the 
sheet of letter paper, and a little to the 
right side, your own address should be 
written. Below the address, still 
farther to the right, comes the date, 
like this: 

j6o Beacon St,, Boston, Mass., 
June I, igoj. 

If you are addressing a friend of your 
own age, you should write, below the 
address and date, near the left side of 
the page. Dear Harry y or Dear Grace, 
If you are writing to an aunt, or a 
friend older than yourself, you use the 
more formal beginning, like this: My 
dear Aunt. After the word Harry ^ or 
Aunty place a colon. You are now 
ready for the letter itself. 

If you are writing a letter to a friend, 
you wish to write what that friend 
would be glad to know about. Quite 
likely the most interesting letter would 
be one about what you have been 
doing, what common friends you have 



62 The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 



seen recently, and whether or not all 
members of the family are well. It 
is the little things that people like 
best to read in a letter. 

Try not to write anything that your 
friend will not enjoy reading. Bad 
news must be written sometimes, but 
keep the tone of your letter cheery if 
you can. 

Here are some endings appropriate 
to different kinds of letters: Your lov- 
ing nephew ; Your loviiig friend; Very 
sincerely yours. For a somewhat formal 
note. Cordially yours is sometimes used. 
We close a business letter with the 
words, Yours respectftdly^ or Yours very 
truly. This polite closing is written on 
a separate line, below the letter itself, 
and a little to the right of the other 
lines. The name is signed on a line 
below the closing line, and still farther 
to the right, thus: 

Yottrs very truly, 
John C, Walters, 



The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 63 

Always sign your full name. If for 
any reason the letter fails to reach its 
destination, it goes to the Dead Letter 
Office in Washington. When the name 
of the writer and his address are given 
in full, a letter is returned from the 
Dead Letter Office to the sender. In 
this way the writer may know that the 
letter was not received by the person 
to whom it was sent. A letter signed 
Cousin Grace ^ or Your nephew^ Franks 
and not bearing the address of the 
sender, never leaves the Dead Lettel 
Office for anybody to whom it be- 
longs. 

If you receive a letter from a friend, 
that letter should be answered, and 
answered soon. Your friend can then 
decide when to write again. If any 
questions are asked in a letter^ be sure to 
answer them ivhen you reply. 

When any one has sent you any kind 
of remembrance — as at Christmas time 
or on your birthday — you should 



64 The Yoimg Folks' Book of Etiquette 

promptly write a note thanking the 
sender for the thoughtfulness, no mat- 
ter how simple the present may be. 

Whenever you have visited at some 
house, even if only for one day or 
night, you must write a note after your 
return home. In it be sure to thank 
your hostess for the pleasant time you 
had with her. This letter should 
always be written to the lady of the 
house in which you have been enter- 
tained. 

Every kind of written invitation 
should receive some acknowledgment. 
If some one writes you a friendly note, 
asking you to attend a picnic, to spend 
an evening at her house, or whatever it 
may be, answer it. 

Invitations to a children's party 
should be written in the mother's 
name. A written invitation requires a 
written reply, either of acceptance or 
regret. Such an invitation should read 
like this: 



The Yotmg Folks' Book of Etiquette 65 

Mrs. J, N, Brown would be pleased to 
see Miss Grace Fenster at her home on the 
evening of October ike tenths from seven 
until ten o'clock. 

216 Walker Avenue^ 

Tuesday, October the sixth. 

Here is a suitable acceptance to a 
formal invitation: 

Miss Grace Fenster accepts with pleastire 
Mrs, Brown's kind invitation for the even- 
ing of October the tenth. 

14J Eighth Streety 

Wednesday, October the seventh. 

It may be that we expect to be out 
of town on the evening appointed, or 
have the mumps, or for some other im- 
portant reason cannot go to the party. 
We should in that case write a regret 
reading somewhat like this: 

Miss Grace Fenster regrets that circum- 
stances prevent her accepting the kind 
invitation of Mrs, Brown for the evening 
of October the tenth. 

Or, if you wish to tell why you can- 
not accept, you might say: ■. 



66 The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 

Miss Grace Fenster regrets that illness 
prevents her accepting, etc. 

It has been a kind of fad in recent 
years to begin a letter on the fourth 
page of a sheet of note paper, and 
continue on the first page, then on the 
second, closing on the third. If you 
wish to keep up this custom with your 
young friends, there is no serious 
objection. Do not, however, puzzle a 
busy, sensible man with such an 
arrangement. Usually a woman would 
prefer to read her letter as she reads a 
book— from left to right. We are 
neither Chinese nor Arabs, that we 
should read from right to left. 

If you are invited to a wedding, this 
is a proper note of acceptance: 

Miss Grace Fenster will gladly be present 
at the marriage of Miss Gay and Mr. 
Coburn. 

143 Eighth Street, 
February the second. 

If you send a present to the bride, it 
should be delivered at her house free 



The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 67 

of expense to her, either by express or 
by messenger. The present should be 
accompanied by a pleasant little note, 
reading something like this: 

My dear Miss Gay : 

Please accept this little 
remembrance as a slight token of my many 
good wishes. 

Very sincerely yours 

Grace Fenster. 

The most difficult kind of note is, 
perhaps, one of condolence, when 
some one has lost a friend. It is not 
necessary for a child to write such a 
letter unless some member of the fam- 
ily of a playmate has died. In that 
case a little note like this might be in 
place: 

Dear Ted : 

This is just to tell you how sorry 
I am. We boys are thinking of you a 
great deal. 

Your friend, 

fack Dumont, 



68 The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 

Sometimes school boys or girls wish 
to obtain employment during vacation. 
Here is a letter asking for work: 

J2J E. First St,, San Francisco, 
June 24^ igo^, 

Mr. Jacob Wall^ 
J24 Park Street^ 
San Francisco, 

Dear Sir: 

Having seen your advertisement in 
''The Examiner'' this morning , I wish to 
apply for the position you offer, 

I am fifteen years old, and have been part- 
way through the last year of the grammar 
school, 

I have never had a position before, but 1 
would do my best to please you, and I am 
not afraid of hard work, 

I refer you to Rev, , pastor 

of the church I attend; and also to 

Mr. = , principal of the Second 

Street Grammar School. 

Yours respectfully y 

Frank Miller. 



This letter ordering a book may be 



The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 69 

adapted, by making slight changes, for 
any simple business letter: 

121 E. First St., San Francisco^ Cal, 
June 24, igos. 
The Baker and Taylor Company, 
Union Square, 
New York City, 
Gentlemen: 

Enclosed you will find money 
order for $1,2^. Will you please send me at 
the above address a small-sized dictionary, 
suitable for school use, and oblige. 

Yours respectfully, 

H, S. Joh7ison, 

There is a regular price for telegrams 
of ten words each, sent a certain speci- 
fied distance. For example, a tele- 
gram of ten words sent from New York 
to Boston costs twenty-five cents. For 
each word over the ten there is a 
charge of three cents. One who wishes 
to send a telegram should accordingly 
get it into ten words if possible. The 
rule is to put in only necessary words. 
Here is a specimen telegram: 



70 The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 



Boston^ Oct, igoj;. 

John H, Taggart, 

21 o West Eighty -Second St., 
New York City, 

Missed train. Arrive to-morrow night at 
eight Lake Shore Road. 

Clara B, Tag g art. 

Do not, however, sacrifice clearness 
in order to get the message into the ten 
words allowed. Serious inconvenience 
is often caused in the effort to save a few 
cents. And remember that no punctua- 
tion is put in unless paid for especially. 

Sometimes a boy or girl does some 
special work for a person outside the 
family, such as raking a lawn or weed- 
ing flower beds. Payment is to be 
made for the work. A bill must be 
presented. It should be written thus: 
Chicago, III., July /, igQS* 

Mr. Henry Reid, 

Stanley Avenue, 
To Harold Benson, Dr. 

Ten hours' work {raking leaves') $i.^o 
Weeding Jlower beds .30 

^1,80 

Received payment. 



The Yotmg Folks' Book of Etiquette 71 



When the young gardener is paid, he 
receipts the bill by signing his name 
under the words ' Received payment/' 
and gives the bill back to the person 
from whom he receives the money. 

If Mr. Reid pays Harold by check, 
this is the way the check will be writ- 
ten: 

CHICAGO, iiA..y July J, igo^. 
The Hide and Leather Bank 

Pay to the order of Harold Benson, 

One and 80/100 Dollars 

$1.80. Henry Reid. 

It is not often that children have oc- 
casion to use a promissory note, but 
there is no harm in knowing how such 
a note should be written. This is a 
note payable on demand: 

/ promise to pay Harold Benson, on 
demandy the sum of one hundred dollars 
{Sjoo), Henry Reid, 

Just one more hint aoout letters and 
notes: There are some boys and girls 



72 The Yotmg Folks' Book of Etiquette 

guilty of the foolish habit of writing 
notes to one another. If a boy or a 
girl writes a silly letter to you, either 
tear it up at once, and ask the writer 
not to send or give you any more, or 
else show it to mother and ask her what 
to do about it. 



Bits of Politeness 

In countries where there are kings, 
queens and princes, the beautiful ex- 
pression ''''Noblesse oblige is in common 
use. It means, ^'Mobility obliges/' 
In other words; nobility of birth 
obliges one to say the pleasant, kindly 
word, and do the thoughtful, loving 
deed. In our country every boy is a 
king, and every girl a queen. It is for 
us to show the nobility of our place in 
free America, by living up to the royal 
motto ''Noblesse obliged Here are 
some of the ways of doing so: 

Always show respect and deference 
to people older than you. 

A boy should show his mother or his 
sister the same polite attention that he 
would show another fellow's mother or 
sister. 

Never tease the mother of a play- 
is 



74 The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 

mate to win her consent to something 
of which she does not approve. Do 
not allow a playmate to tease your 
mother. If mother says you may not 
do something you would like to do, 
remember that she refuses because she 
thinks it is for your good. Abide by 
her decision, and do so without a word 
of objection. 

Do not address older people by the 
first name. It is quite proper to speak 
of a young lady you are well acquainted 
with as "Miss Kate,'^ or ''Miss Helen,'' 
but do not forget the "Miss.'' Always 
speak of an aunt or an uncle as "Aunt 
Frances," or "Uncle George." Some- 
times we hear a child address his father 
or mother by the first name. What do 
you think about this? 

It is not proper for children to rebuke 
or correct their parents or the servants 
of the house. Never mind if father or 
mother does use some careless expres- 
sion such as "set" in place of "sit." 



The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 75 

As people grow older they often make 
slips in speaking that they never made 
when they were young, and it is not 
the slightest disgrace to either them or 
you that these little errors occur. 
How do you know that you speak with 
absolute correctness yourself? 

If servants fail to do their work prop- 
erly, they have a master or a mistress 
who employed them and pays them. 
The children of the house are not re- 
sponsible for what the servants do. 

If you take a seat that another per- 
son has been occupying, rise instantly 
upon the return of the one to whom it 
belongs. 

Never interrupt a person who is 
speaking. If you commit this error 
accidentally, ask the speaker to pardon 
you. 

Never flatly contradict even a child of 
your own age. If you must disagree, 
beg pardon for doing so, or say very 
quietly, **I think you must be mis- 



76 The Young Folks ' Book of Etiquette 

taken/* and there let the matter rest. 
It is vulgar to dispute with any one. 
You are welcome to think as you please, 
but keep your opinion to yourself 
rather than argue. 

Never say ''I will/' or won^t/' 
even to a playmate. You can do what 
you think wise and right without mak- 
ing yourself stubbornly positive by 
your remarks. 

It is a great mistake for children to 
form the habit of ridiculing people. 
Any one can find faults in others that 
might be criticised. Try, however^ 
always to see the pleasant qualities in 
every one you meet, instead of the 
faults. At the funeral of a dear old 
lady who was beloved by all who knew 
her, it was .said: *'She was never 
known to speak unkindly of any one. 
When she heard others criticised, she 
always had a good word to say for 
them.'' Do you wonder that people 
loved her? 



The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 77 



Do not laugh at a story you yourself 
tell. Do not laugh at what you con- 
sider a bright remark that you have 
made. If you say something funny, 
others will do the laughing. If what 
you have said is not really funny, it is 
absurd for you to laugh at it. 

It is very foolish to try to show off. 
The boaster is sure to be punished 
sooner or later for his assumed superi- 
ority. 

Never whisper to a friend when 
others are present. It is considered 
bad form to hold the hand to the lips 
so as to speak to one person without 
being heard by others. 

If you give a book, pencil, or other 
object to any one, hand it quietly 
to the person who is to receive it. 
Neither throw it nor toss it. 

In passing anything with a handle, 
such as a spoon, or a pitcher, be sure 
that you turn the handle toward the 
person to whom you are giving the 



78 The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 



article. In handing scissors, hold 
them by the point, that the other per- 
son may take them by the more con- 
venient end. 

A boy should pick up for a girl or a 
woman anything she has dropped. He 
should pay his respects at the same 
time, if he is out-of-doors, by lifting his 
hat. 

The privacy of a person's own room 
should be respected. Never enter any 
sleeping apartment, save your own, 
without first knocking at the door. 

In passing through a hall, do not 
look into the doors which happen to be 
open on either side. 

Never, on any account^ enter another 
person's closet unless you know posi- 
tively that the owner will not object. 
It is exceedingly rude to peep into 
bureau drawers or boxes that do not 
belong to you. 

To use any toilet article belonging to 
another is unhealthful and impolite. 



The Young Folks' Book of Etiquette 79 

When visiting, have with you your own 
comb, hair-brush, tooth-brush, mani- 
cure scissors, and whatever other toilet 
articles you will require. 

Children should not wear diamonds 
or other expensive jewelry. What do 
you think about wearing rings on soiled 
fingers? 

When our mothers were young, chil- 
dren often had their ears bored and 
wore earrings. People do not gener- 
ally have their ears bored nowadays. 
We do not like to see anything so unnat- 
ural as holes bored in the flesh must be. 

A boy should remove his gloves 
before entering a parlor. He should 
remove his right glove before shaking 
hands with a lady, or, if there is not 
time to do so, beg her to excuse it. He 
should remove his hat when talking 
with a lady, as well as before entering 
the house. 

In going upstairs a boy precedes a 
woman, or walks by her side. 



8o The Youfig Folks' Book of Etiquette 

The letters R.S.V.P., written on an 
invitation, stand for the French words, 
''R^pondez sHl votes plait^^^ meaning, 
"Please reply.'' 

If there is a stranger at any gather- 
ing where you may be, never mind 
whether you know him or not; intro- 
duce yourself. Make him acquainted 
with your friends as well. Take par- 
ticular pains that he shall have an en- 
joyable time. 

This is the proper way to introduce 
two people: Supposing you wish to 
introduce a boy friend to your mother, 
you would say: ''Mother, this is my 
friend Jack Redmond," If you wish 
to make a boy friend and a girl friend 
acquainted, introduce the boy to the 
girl, saying, **Helen Smith, this is my 
friend Jack Redmond," or simply, 
"Helen Smith, Jack Redmond." Ii 
case you wish to be a little more formal, 
say "Miss Smith," instead of "Helen." 



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